6.17.2011

in transition.

Today is my last day in the office before a few months of maternity leave. I have been waiting and waiting for this day to arrive for so many reasons; to get a break and take a breath after many, many years doing something I love. It's also been a light at the end of the pregnancy road that has been shining, so far ahead in the distance for so long, signifying that the end is near and soon there will be a little person in my life.

All good things come with this day, but truthfully, I'm a little torn about it.
{approaching mile 10 :: the end of the road in beautiful Kauai}
As I type and listen to my faithful Pandora, songs trail on about moving on and letting go. And, of course, they are speaking directly to and through me, as I look around my 9-5 home that is such a part of my identity. I know I'll be back, and I know it's only temporary, but with all the nerves and anxiety that come with the joy of baby, I think my emotions have got the best of me. I'm stumbling over things moving on without me, and returning a different person in a few months.

Believe me - I have been waiting for a good break from work for years. It's not like this isn't welcome. It is. And, I'm leaving to have a baby, for goodness sake. How exciting, right? It's just, now that it's here, it's a little bittersweet. As almost all kinds of change are.

I'm still keeping up my yoga practice, and at the end of each class, our instructor takes us through a cooling down exercise called Savasana, or 'corpse pose,' to let all the muscles, bones and cells melt away, together in harmony, thanking the body for allowing us to practice. It's very therapeutic, and just before she sends us off into dream land, she says, "... and I'll see you on the other side."

I always feel better on the other side; it's a noticeable, wonderful and peaceful change that only comes after several transitional movements, intentional concentration, and deep, meaningful breathing. Which, is how I'm certain I'll feel once I have my baby. Getting there is such a profound experience and I suppose this transition period is all part of the process.

I highly recommend it.

2 comments:

mary said...

love, love, love this -- feel like you're my guide months ahead of me! know this is going to be such a beautiful new chapter in your life -- can't wait to see that baby!!

Karen said...

Alison,
Beautiful! Have a wonderful time with this, enjoy!
Love,
Karen